wednesday morning

well i am glad to say that yesterday was a good day. my pain level stayed low even without meds and i was able to actually accomplish things i was supposed to - like phone calls and a shower!! the sun is shining out my window today and that makes me happy. i decided to start watching the glee experiment or whatever it is called on oxygen.com yesterday and have fallen in love with it just like i did with glee. anyway, it is still early here in the morning. i am going to put this as a draft and hopefully add to it later today ~ peace and luv

well here it is almost 9 pm had a good day today, just really tired. took a morning and an afternoon nap from which i woke up with a headache but it has been a decent day. a friend posted a quote that totally hit home today so i grabbed it and made it into a picture.

i couldnt post this last night because blogger was "sick" so here it is now :) peace and luv laura

today is a new day

well i was supposed to make calls last friday, and it is now tuesday, but i have made my calls. i am having a hard time right now with pain in my legs- if i sit too long they burn and then i need to lay down on my stomach for a while. i am researching fibromyalgia and yeah a lot of it fits. i called to talk to my dr today and the reception b*tch really upset me by saying i didnt need to talk to the dr i needed to make an appointment so i could be diagnosed for sure. my sister says i should call and speak to the office manager, but it is too much drama today. i called and got the info i need for the shelter in port angeles so that i will have someplace to go while i wait for my mental health eval to get state benefits again and until i can get into low income housing. so the only thing left on my list today is to actually shower. sometimes the shower water hurts so i avoid it when i am in pain, but yeah it has to be done!! also, my cat, is going to have to go to a shelter. the one friend i had who was willing to try to take her cant have her because she went all demon cat and was scaring the adults and the kids and that is not fair to anyone including the cat. so i will take her to a shelter and hope for her to find a new good home where she will still be an only cat where there are no kids. she is old and set in her ways and while it will be yet another very emotional day for me, i know it is what is best for all involved. my son is out today seeing about getting into job corps and emergency placement and that will be one less thing for me to worry about. anyway it is off to get on with my day,

peace and luv

laura

a new turn in my life

as with most creative people i suffer from depression. and most of the time i keep it somewhat under control. but a couple of weeks ago, the physical pain combined with the emotional pain and stress of everyday life was too much and i wanted to not necessarily take my life but to make the pain stop for a while - end result is pretty much the same thing. but i know that i have a lot of people in my life who love me - for whatever reason - and instead i called my sister and she just kept talking to me until i was ready to just lay down and get some sleep. then she talked to me first thing in the morning too and has kept talking to me several times a day for which i am very grateful. there are days when i feel completely alone and just a text or short phone conversation can help. so i made an apointment with my dr in port townsend and my sister got me there and back. marilyn is my dr. she is actually not a dr but like a medical assistant or something. i dont care, she gets me and i trust her enough to tell the truth. so after a long appointment, and a lot of tears, i have a referral to the mental health social worker on the 13th. and the plan for now is to try to get into a shelter up on the penninsula until i can get into a mental health program and get into housing. the thing that really sux is admitting i cannot really go back to work. marilyn also feels that this constant pain is fibromyalgia. so i am keeping a pain log and learning about it online. also, i am hoping to document this new journey on here. so ......... here we go on yet another life adventure be it as it may

peace and luv

laura