7/28/11

hi all, sorry i have been MIA for over a week. I have been very busy promoting my facebook pages for my two online businesses and working on a website for a third online business. I am also working hard on a couple baby books and some scrapbooks for others. I need to make sure I am scheduling time daily to write on here as this is where I am tracking this new stage of life. my pain has been managable except that last friday i went to renton river days and spent the day there having fun people watching and talking to people and seeing friends.......and it took until monday for me to recover from it all. it really did a number on my knees. but it was a really fun day and nice to take a break like that. anyway i hope everyone is doing well, peace and luv to all, laura :)

7/18/11

today was a good day, i have an order that will be for 4 scrapbooks and 1 frame-able collage. still waiting to hear from the grandmother of the girl who received the baby book over the weekend. been applying for jobs like mad including one for a part time babysitter. i will do anything to keep this apartment at this point. i have been watching charmed the last few days. it is an amazing show. anyway, been busy networking and job searching so life is kinda boring these days :) till next time peace and luv to all ~~ laura

today i worked on my website mostly. as with most things in my life it is a work in progress and always will be. i also took about a three hour nap. i knew i was tired but didnt realize i was that tired. also, jaymee gave one of my baby books as a gift today and everyone at the shower loved it and the girl's grandma is supposed to be calling me soon with orders for more work :) yay paying customers!! unfortunately in working on my website, i realized that the last two baby books jaymee gave away are missing pages so i need to get those done and off to her to give to the recipients of the books. anyway, i still have a lot to do so until next time, peace and luv to all ~ laura

7/15/11

well so much for the excitement of interviews. the one for yesterday turned out to be a 3 hour commute each way and that is just way too much for me with my back and leg issues. and the management position that i was so stoked about -- well it is a scam. they hook you in with this management talk then you end up being one of those pesky people out in parking lots selling knock off perfume. on the plus side, i have 116 likes on my fb page for all the fine details and it is bite of seattle weekend and robby walden and the gunslingers are playing and i have had the pleasure of seeing them before in sequim and love them so gonna go see them. sometimes it is good to let the hair down and have fun :) so peace and luv to all ~~ laura

7/13/11 pt 2

Had a really good day today. I interviewed for a management position and got asked back for a second interview friday. I also got a call on the way home and have an interview tomorrow morning. it is a little out of the way, but hey a job is a job!! i had 2 hours each way today with a 1/2 mile walk each way for literally a 15 minute interview. I am honestly sore as hell but it is so worth it if i can land this job. i finally broke 100 fans on my page on fb for All the Fine Details this morning!! that was a huge accomplishment to me. anyway i am off to la la land - peace and luv to all ~ laura

7/13/11

oops totally forgot to post anything yesterday - i was very busy with job hunting as well as "pimping" my scrapbooking. my facebook page is at 99 as of this morning and i just know i am going to break 100 today. hopefully that will mean some orders soon!! we also got the house pretty much all clean yesterday. lets see, i applied to about 15 jobs yesterday. just gotta keep the momentum and hope going. anyway, gonna get my business day started here in a few. peace and luv to all ~ laura

July 11 2011

well yesterday i was having remorse for not following through with my plan of homelessness, but today i am totally stoked about finding a job - i applied to 20 jobs today and a few more temp agencies and contacted my contacts at the agencies i am already enrolled with. i also did some marketing stuff for my own business All the Fine Details. my fan page on fb is now over 60 people. Which I am loving. As more people like my page and comment on my work it just makes me want to make this work even that much more. i even asked strangers today if they were interested today. so yeah today has been a really good day and i am happy and sure i made the right decisions. so talk to you all tomorrow, peace and love to all, laura

july 10 2011

well the decisions were made yesterday to try harder and keep this apartment - so the job hunt is on and crackin!! not a whole lot out there because it is the weekend, but i have faith that this is the right decision and all will not be lost. feeling very hopeful today and that is a good thing because when i lose hope well i lose everything else too. hope everyone had a great weekend, peace and luv to all, laura

new change of plans

we are trying to keep the apartment, we are gonna double down on the job search and make this work -- i am not a quitter, i can do this!!

july 9 2011

well today starts my new life - putting everything i can fit into storage and then hoping that the shelter will have a bed for me. i am terrified. there are so many what if's and so many things can go wrong, but this is where my heart is leading me and it is the best way right now for me to get the medical help i need. i am having a really hard time right now thinking of myself as a failure. i have worked hard my whole life to make sure that there was a roof over my head and the heads of those i love, that there was electricity, and food. but right now i cannot provide that for myself, let alone my son or my cat. my son is just gonna wander for a while i guess because he didnt come up with a plan. my cat has to go to a shelter if my friend asks around today and still cannot find a place for her. my stuff is going into storage which i honestly have no money to pay for. Lord above i hope i have made the correct decisions. my sister will be here soon to get my stuff and start taking it to storage........ i think i am gonna take some stuff to the pawn shop and see if i can get a little money to help out with. i should really get off of here and finish packing my stuff, but i feel like if i dont do it none of this will happen. anyway, peace and luv to all, and i will keep writing when i can, laura

july 7 2011

well yesterday was a pretty good day. i was very creative. got a lot of pages done for family and friends. umm yeah that is about all i did yesterday, played in photoshop. and today is not looking very productive at all. so tired today. but oh well. i just dont care today. i am only writing in here because i dont want to miss a day and have to make it up (yeah i know there are no rules to personal blogs but still). ok that is all for now - peace and luv to all, laura

happy hump day

well yesterday was a better day. my leg was still hurting really bad, but i discovered that if i iced the back of my calf that my shin bone quit hurting. whatever, at least i found relief. i was also very creative again. new photos of my nieces and only mild pain will do that for a girl. arent they beautiful?? well really that is about it for my day yesterday, so peace and luv to all, laura

ok for what its worth, i fail at keeping up at these daily/weekly things!! so here is one of my favorite "redneck" grave sites. this is from the cemetery in chimacum wa. i love that not only is the cross made from chainsaws, but there is a beer at the bottom. i have not been cemetery exploring since april. that is sad. and even when i do go, i only have my phone camera as i have killed off my good camera. oh well, such is life. when the time is right i will have another one i am sure. until my next post, peace and luv, laura

tuesday.......... july 5th 2011

yesterday was not so great. i am having very agoraphobic feelings towards leaving the house. i think once i can get myself to actually go out the door, i will be ok, but sometimes that is the biggest hurdle. one good thing about going back up on the penninsula is jaymee will not let me just stay in my little comfort zone. she guilts me into going and having fun. and i do have fun once i am out, again, it is getting through the door that is the hard part. also, i was in pain yesterday. it was a hot pain from my ass down my thigh in the back (yeah i know that is from my back), and then from my knee to my ankle in the front felt like my bones were splintering. i dont know how else to explain it. it hurt - a lot - like 9 out of 10 pain. but i took meds and laid down and watched fireworks from my bed out my window. i even clapped for some of them, but that could have been my meds :) jaymee posted photos of kameo's girls - my nieces - and it makes me miss them soo much that i cannot wait to get back up there so i can see them regularly again. anyway, i am gonna try to be productive today, so peace and luv to all, laura

independence day

well here it is 4th of july. my big celebration plans are pretty much nothing. i did send my son to the store so we can have hot dogs and potato salad tonight, but other than that no plans. what i really want to do is lay in bed and watch movies, but i decided to come out and sit in the living room. when i am sitting, my legs and neck hurt pretty bad, when i am laying down as long as i shift every few minutes i can usually be pretty comfortable most of the day. so i am watching independence day - cuz well hello!! i hope my focus comes back soon. i hate it when my mind rebels against me in this way. i cannot wait to see the social worker on the 13th and get everything rolling. i need medical, i need mental health help, i need to find me again and be able to live without pain 24/7. the increase in my prozac has helped some, but i am still floundering. anyway i am gonna get off of here for now so this does not turn into a huge pity party, peace and luv to all, laura

july 3

well, it is after 5pm here and i am just now getting to this, i have had a bad couple of days, very tired, cant seem to get enough sleep. also, having nightmares about royal hills. they differ in who is in them, but the end result is always the same. i am back living there and stuck there with my worst nightmares. i cannot get out no matter what. i get on the bus to leave and it just makes it about halfway up the hill then has to turn back for whatever reason. also, my neck is in immense pain. so, i took a nap after watching some movie then a documentary about the amish people. well it was not a conscious move, but still it was a nap. with bad dreams. and now i am up and watching season one of sliders. i cannot seem to focus on art, reading, much of anything, but am watching tons of netflix. my sister had to cancel for tomorrow, but that is ok. we will move my stuff next weekend. in the meantime, i need to call the actual shelter and find out when they will have a bed for me, and get all my shit packed back up. i hate this part!!! i really do. but i know in the end, i am going to be getting the help i need mentally and medically. and that will be a good thing. i also have to send back the extra modem to qwest and look at my autopay things and start cancelling them. yes, even netflix. but maybe jamee will sign up for it so i will still be able to watch shit like sliders lol. anyway, just getting this all down for now, peace and luv to all ~~ laura

fourth of july weekend?????

how did this happen? i swear on my bad days time goes faster while i am in the slow lane. yesterday was ok pain-wise, but a total bust for anything else as i totally watched old tv on netflix alllllll day!! yeah i know i have things i need to be working on but reality sux right now so i escaped. perhaps not the best way to cope, but yeah it is working for me. btw if you have netflix and like hospital type dramas check out the one season available of trauma. i love this show but alas, since i dont really have tv, it has probably been canceled just like all the rest of the series i have found lately that i love. hopefully today will be more productive, we will see. anyway i hope everyone has a great day/weekend, peace and luv, laura

july the first

usually right about now i am getting excited about whatever plans i have made for the fourth. good food, friends, and fireworks are always a great combination. however, yesterday was a bad pain day. i was having issues sitting in my chair so stayed in bed most of the day so i could stretch out and shift as necessary. me and my netflix had an amazing love affair yesterday!! today, i have a headache and my hips are burning, but i am in a good mood. the sun is out, i know on the fourth i will be taking a load of my stuff back to storage and that is the beginning of this newest chapter in my life. i have told my closest friends what all is going on, and a few family members, but am choosing carefully who to tell and when. i think i am in the right frame of mind today to work on the baby book order i have - it is pink and frilly so depression doesnt click with it very well and i want it to be amazing since the mother to be has had such a hard time even getting and staying pregnant. also i am slowly working on finishing my all about me scrapbook so will post those pages as i have them. hope everyone has a great day, peace and luv, laura