Tuesday, January 31, 2012

new horizons

so, i think my scrapbooking thing didnt really work out because it is time consuming and pricey.  i think it will be best to just keep it for gift giving and the occasional customer.  but i have come up with a great idea for making some spending money - journal in a jar!!  this is a set that comes with a composition book that has been prettied up with scrapbooking paper, a jar with 52 prompts to pick from in it, and a pen.  i am going to be offering several different versions of this from teens, to elementary age, family heritage, life story, bible verses, quotes, relationship building and a few more.  i am huge into journaling and always have been and feel that everyone should journal even if they burn it all in the end.  it is a great way to think things out, write out dreams, yell at someone, paste pictures of things you want......just anything.  sometimes i just color a picture and add it for that day.  it is a very personal thing.  anyway, i have been working hard on pricing, just how they should look, where to buy supplies, prompts and just everything that will need to go into these.

wish me luck.
peace and luv to all,

Saturday, January 28, 2012

things are getting back to normal

the snow is gone (thank God) and seattle is back to being seattle in the winter.  mr william and i have been working on our schedule this week and getting things really set in so that he knows what to expect on a day to day basis.  we also have been doing some fun dino inspired preschool worksheets and games.  i cannot wait for spring when we can spend a lot more time outside.  i am also working on a crafty project that hopefully will actually sell, and a book and a movie -- who knows maybe my first million is out there somewhere lol but between william and my projects, i really have not had time to be on here.  so i apologize for the lags in postings but it is all part of being laura :) i hope you all had a great week and are looking forward to the week ahead.

peace and luv,

Monday, January 23, 2012

mini ice age in the seattle area

So, that is why I have been missing.  we had no power for 4 days.  but we did discover that almost 3 year olds can find things to do when there is no power.  we spent a whole day tossing things up and down the stairs - a nerf ball, a nerf football, a bear, a pillow - take note these were all soft things :) mr william loved it when whoever was at the top missed and the things came bouncing back down the stairs to him.  he also discovered how much he likes stories.  i think we read almost every childrens book in the house including the ones i have on my kindle :) the first day of snow, we still had power and it was just snow - we went out and played, i built a snowman, william deconstructed it.  we threw snowballs at the fence.  i tried to convince him to make an angel in the snow but he was having none of that while he could throw the snow.  and that was the end of the great part of this adventure.  during the night everything froze and we had about 3/4 of an inch of freezing rain everywhere.  then the power went out.  we saw fuses on power poles blowing all over the place since it was still dark out.  we noticed that one of the trees in the yard was splitting from all the weight.  it eventually cracked in half -- we ended up losing 5 trees and several parts of the fence but it didnt damage the house and for that we are all eternally thankful.  we also got power back before the underneath of the house could flood from the melting snow/ice and rain.  relief was the word of the day when we got our power back - the heat kicked on, the sump pump kicked on, the fridge kicked on, the washer and dryer kicked on, the coffee pot kicked on........all the things in life we missed lol.  all  in all it was not a horrible experience, i just hibernated in my bed a lot to keep warm so my joints didnt hurt so bad.  it would have gone a lot faster if we could have at least watched movies but oh well, i guess our lesson was on not watching so much tv :)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Sorry I have been missing

got a little obsessed with Pinterest -- and by a little i mean a LOT!!  wanna follow me?  http://pinterest.com/laura30f/  
Also, here in the greater seattle area we have been having snow - so yeah had to play in it and all.  today william and i went out and built a snowman - well i built a snowman.  

then william took his head and threw it into the fence for a big snow splat.

then william karate chopped the middle section till it is almost gone.

now we have a large snowball sitting in the back yard.  poor mr snowman.

peace and luv to all

Friday, January 13, 2012


I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.
Eleanor Roosevelt

I love the age that little mr william is right now.  he is curious about everything.  his favorite phrase right now is whatcha doin?? i love watching him figure things out and grow each day.  it is such a blessing to be his nanny and get to bring my little touches into his life as well as his parents.  in this photo he was putting little gravel rocks into the wheel of his truck and spinning and seeing which ones flew out and which ones didnt, so i explained to him that that was called centrifugal force.  now several months later, he loves dinosaur train and says "I have a hypothesis".  he is beginning to be an awesome little man.

peace and luv to all

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


“On the one hand maybe I’ve remained infantile, while on the other I matured quickly, because at a young age I was very aware of suffering and fear.” 
― Audrey Hepburn

one of the things my mother used to say to me was that she envied the childlike way i looked at the world.  i have friends who say i live in fantasy land (just because i think i am princess laura).  i think i see the world the way i do because as a child i had a lot of grown up responsibilities like taking care of my brother and knowing i needed to save money so if they came to turn off the electric i could pay it even if i didnt know where my mom was.  now i choose to see the world the way i wish everyone saw it.  people dont come in colors, they all come from God which makes them all worth my time.  i dont care if you have a prison record, i will give you a chance.  if you are homeless, i will give you food or money if i have it.  i try to remember to smile at every person i cross paths with, because you never know who needed that smile today.  and i would rather be me - childlike or not - than someone that hates for no reason.

peace and luv to all

Monday, January 9, 2012


The habit of reading is the only enjoyment in which there is no alloy; it lasts when all other pleasures fade. 
 - Anthony Trollope
For years i abused my body with binge drinking or binge eating, now it seems my thing is binge reading.  has anyone else just had a few days on end where they just cannot read enough?  maybe i am just weird - i am hoping that the end of this book will be the end of my binge reading for a while.  all i have done for like days now is lay in bed and read.  and while it is great that i can do that right at the moment i am not sure how it looks to those who are always watching my mental stability.  i have had other times in life where i get like this too so i know it will pass, but i know my friends who i live with are worried about me and i just cannot go down and really be sociable cuz i really just want to be alone reading.  so, yeah that is why there was no post yesterday, and that is why this one is kinds short -- just wanna finish my book!!

hope all is well in the world 
peace and luv to all

Saturday, January 7, 2012

dream by day

I have been called a daydreamer my whole life.  I think it is a good thing.  I have dreams and would rather spend time thinking about them than wasting my time on things that just dont hold my attention that day.  And I say that day because whatever I am spacing out on today could be the next thing that captivates me next week.  One never knows.  I can remember in grade school always being the student who could not sit by the window because I spent too much time looking out it at the world that I was missing out on.  You know - trees and birds and squirrels and such.  I would have been so much happier to spend that 6 hours a day hiking in the woods and finding plants and animals than I ever was trapped in a room with 28 other kids being told that individuality was great but do it just like everyone else.  I know now that if I had it to do over again, I would definately homeschool my son.  I should have followed my heart on that but let my family convince me he would be better off in public school.  But that is a big if that will never happen and how things turned out we all just have to live with - mostly my son.  I am glad he is working on turning it all around now and getting his life back on track.  And I am proud of him for that.  Anyway, I think that is all for now, 
Peace and luv to all,

Friday, January 6, 2012

I believe in pink

Today is a pink day - happy, cheerful and loving.  Sammy got a new job with much better hours so I will be working a whole lot more.  William and I had a fun day today, playing cars mostly and bouncing on his trampoline.  I think tomorrow I will go walking and take photos.  I havent done that in a while.  and just for everyone's information, I love this quote.  I have it hanging in my room to remind me to have more pink days (especially in the winter when they all seem gray).  Also, I am liking the new facebook timeline thing if only for the fact that I can change the picture across the top!  I love creating banners and such so that is right up my alley!  Anyway, I am off to be creative - perhaps I will share tomorrow,
until then,
Peace and luv to all

Thursday, January 5, 2012


"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

Courage is something I think you are born with and somehow forget through the years. I can remember as a child having no fear of anything.  I was the queen of truth or dare because I would do any dare and never had to reveal my truths.  I spent hours climbing trees, tanning on the apartment roof, exploring the woods surrounding our apartments, doing crazy stunts on my skates, bike or skateboard.  As I got older I somehow forgot how brave I was.  I became afraid of so many things in life.  I have fought agoraphobia for years.  I fight my demons in my sleep (most of the time) due to PTSD.  I am afraid to let people get too close to me because I know the pain it causes when they are no longer there.  But I am trying, I am trying to have courage, to leave the house even on bad days, to try and keep my demon fights to my dreams, and most of all to let people in - even knowing that in the end I might end up hurt or hurting due to loss.

thanks for following me along this journey to me~~
peace and luv to all

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


Adopt the pace of nature:  her secret is patience.  
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am working really hard on my patience these days.  There are things in my life that I want to happen NOW, but I am not in control of them.  I am also working on patience with myself, I am a work in progress and sometimes need to remind myself of that.  I am also working on remembering that while things might seem to not be where I want them to be, that there is someone much higher than myself who is truly in control of things and that all things will happen exactly as they should, when they should.

Peace and luv to all,

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Do More

Do more than exist - Live
Do more than touch - Feel
Do more than look - Observe
Do more than read - Absorb
Do more than hear - Listen
Do more than listen- Understand

last night - not so fun

So, i dont know if it was the cold medicine or what but i had nightmares all night and ended up sleeping till almost 10 this morning - thank God i didnt have to be at a job today!!  I had dreams about everything from trying to escape from my stepdad when he tried to kill me to knowing the house i was in needed to be completely cleaned out but it was like a hoarder house and it just kept growing as soon as we would finish a room a new one would appear.  with both my parents being hoarders, it is a huge fear of mine that i will turn into a hoarder.  i kinda feel like one anyway since i have most of my stuff in storage due to living with others for the last couple of years - i feel like if i have lived without it all for this long i dont need it, but it is my stuff and i still want it -  it is a mental fight i have at least once a week.  anyway that is all for now,
peace and luv to all

Monday, January 2, 2012

reflections of 2011

a friend posted her answers to these questions on livejournal and i liked the questions enough to do this for myself.  so here it is ~~~

1.      What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Started really opening up to people about my past and my future plans
2.     Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I dont make New Years resolutions for the simple fact that I am constantly trying to better my life and only making resolutions or goals once a year is just crazy talk
3.     Did anyone close to you give birth?
I love this question this year because we started out the year with Kameo having Kailyn on new years day 2011 and ended the year with KC having Gunner on Dec 28th it is amazing how much I live for the babies in my life and I am blessed to have great friends and family that let me be the greatest auntie ever
4.     Did anyone close to you die?
My father was killed in a traffic accident on Oct 1st this year.  It was a major blow for me because I hadnt realized how close we had become the past few years and how much I would miss him even though he drove me crazy all the time
5.     What countries did you visit?
I feel that this would be much more interesting if I changed it to counties instead of countries I dont have a passport therefore I did not leave this country but I have been doing a lot of exploring of Washington state as well as going to Kentucky when my father passed away
6.     What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A stable home life.  A job.  Actually letting myself share my life with someone else even though I might get hurt
7.     What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 3rd that is when I found out my father had died
January 1st that is when Kailyn made her appearance in the world finally
December 28th that is when Gunner made his appearance in the world
December 30th finding out that my cousin Emily has a brain tumor
8.     What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Probably staying sane through the whole year minus one major meltdown in april
9.     What was your biggest failure?
I dont have failures only restarts J I wish my scrapbooking business idea would have gone further, but it didnt, so time to rethink and restart J
10.    Did you suffer illness or injury?
This has been a pretty healthy year no major medical issues this year still dealing with the fibro, the arthritis, the chronic pain and the ptsd but I am dealing with them and that is the point
11.     What was the best thing you bought?
My xbox 360 I absolutely love playing my games in my room
12.    Whose behavior merited celebration?
Jaymee she had a hard year but came through it all with flying colors.  While I may not have approved of every choice she made looking back I can see that they were choices she needed to make to progress in her life to where she is today
13.    Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My brother all this petty fighting over my fathers estate (which is nothing) and trying to strongarm me into doing things his way make me ashamed to even call him my brother
My nephew he spent his second Christmas in a row in jail instead of spending time with his daughter
14.    Where did most of your money go?
To life in general and my trip to Kentucky took a huge chunk that I had thank God
15.    What did you get really excited about?
Watching William.  He brings such joy to my life
Going to Kentucky and meeting my Johnson family
16.    What song will always remind you of 2011?
Someone like you Adele it was an amazing thing to realize that I was ready to try dating again
17.    Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
Happier in general but sadder cuz my dad died
ii. thinner or fatter?
Thinner still losing slowly
iii. Richer or poorer?
Poorer because I ran out of unemployment and now I have no actual income as I work for the roof over my head and utilities
18.    What do you wish you'd done more of?
Hiking and spending time in nature
19.    What do you wish youd done less of?
Job hunting it is really hard to be told no over and over
20.   How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas was spent with Sammy and Rich and William as well as Jesse, I just wish Rich would have made Jesse feel more welcome here
21.    How will you be spending New Years Eve?
New Years Eve was spent with Richs family, and Robbie well Robbie and I talked all day online and texting
22.   Did you fall in love in 2011? 
Not that I am aware of unless you count my fake celebrity boyfriends lol
23.   How many one-night stands? 
24.   What was your favorite TV program? 
Glee, Glee Project, New Girl, Ghost Hunters, Ghost Adventures, Survivor, Amazing Race, Once Upon a Time, Grimm, being human
25.   Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I dont believe in Hating others
26.   What was the best book you read?
Probably the Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning
27.   What was your greatest musical discovery?
Memnoir is great they rock
28.   What did you want and get?
A new hoodie
29.   What did you want and not get?
A job so I could have stability in my life
30.   What was your favorite film that you saw for the first time this year?
The only movie I saw in theaters this year was breaking dawn pt 1 but I have watched a lot of movies this year that I liked
31.    What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 43 on my birthday and me and jaymee went to the casino
32.   What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A job boy I sound repetitive
33.   How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Ummm same as always I live in jeans/sweats, tank tops and hoodies
34.   What kept you sane?
Good friends
35.   Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Taylor lautner is hot, ummm other pretend boyfriends zac from ghost adventures, steve from ghost hunters
36.   What political issue stirred you the most?
The repeal of dont ask dont tell, the assassination of osama bin laden, the pulling out of our troops from iraq
37.   Who did you miss?
My mom, my dad, Melanie, mac, kyle, misty,
38.   Who was the best new person you met?
Umm didnt meet too many new people this year Richs sister Sara is pretty cool
39.   Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
To live my life for me
40.   Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
We're getting older the world's getting colder
For the life of me I don't know the reason why
Maybe it's livin' making us give in
Hearts rolling in taken back on the tide
We're balanced together ocean upon the sky
~~Dog and Butterfly by Heart

peace and luv to all