july 3

well, it is after 5pm here and i am just now getting to this, i have had a bad couple of days, very tired, cant seem to get enough sleep. also, having nightmares about royal hills. they differ in who is in them, but the end result is always the same. i am back living there and stuck there with my worst nightmares. i cannot get out no matter what. i get on the bus to leave and it just makes it about halfway up the hill then has to turn back for whatever reason. also, my neck is in immense pain. so, i took a nap after watching some movie then a documentary about the amish people. well it was not a conscious move, but still it was a nap. with bad dreams. and now i am up and watching season one of sliders. i cannot seem to focus on art, reading, much of anything, but am watching tons of netflix. my sister had to cancel for tomorrow, but that is ok. we will move my stuff next weekend. in the meantime, i need to call the actual shelter and find out when they will have a bed for me, and get all my shit packed back up. i hate this part!!! i really do. but i know in the end, i am going to be getting the help i need mentally and medically. and that will be a good thing. i also have to send back the extra modem to qwest and look at my autopay things and start cancelling them. yes, even netflix. but maybe jamee will sign up for it so i will still be able to watch shit like sliders lol. anyway, just getting this all down for now, peace and luv to all ~~ laura