Sunday, June 26, 2011

a new turn in my life

as with most creative people i suffer from depression. and most of the time i keep it somewhat under control. but a couple of weeks ago, the physical pain combined with the emotional pain and stress of everyday life was too much and i wanted to not necessarily take my life but to make the pain stop for a while - end result is pretty much the same thing. but i know that i have a lot of people in my life who love me - for whatever reason - and instead i called my sister and she just kept talking to me until i was ready to just lay down and get some sleep. then she talked to me first thing in the morning too and has kept talking to me several times a day for which i am very grateful. there are days when i feel completely alone and just a text or short phone conversation can help. so i made an apointment with my dr in port townsend and my sister got me there and back. marilyn is my dr. she is actually not a dr but like a medical assistant or something. i dont care, she gets me and i trust her enough to tell the truth. so after a long appointment, and a lot of tears, i have a referral to the mental health social worker on the 13th. and the plan for now is to try to get into a shelter up on the penninsula until i can get into a mental health program and get into housing. the thing that really sux is admitting i cannot really go back to work. marilyn also feels that this constant pain is fibromyalgia. so i am keeping a pain log and learning about it online. also, i am hoping to document this new journey on here. so ......... here we go on yet another life adventure be it as it may
peace and luv

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