Friday, August 24, 2012

Some days are better than others........

Ok if you have been reading my blog for a while now you know I suffer from depression and it is something I have battled since I was a teen.  I take my meds daily and they usually help, but I guess I don't deal well with "rejection" and losing my job two weeks ago was a huge rejection in my mind.  On top of the depression I tend to get agoraphobic.  I don't want to leave my house for many real and/or imagined reasons and can talk myself into staying in very easily, talking myself into leaving the house, however, not so easy.  It is days like this that I really need the confidence boosters that I make myself and plan to hang up all around my apartment eventually.  Today is a not so good day.  I honestly just want to curl up in my bed - let the physical pain take over - and just stay there.  But, I have not done that - I have made myself be up and doing something all day.  I still have not left my apartment today, but the day is not over yet and even if it does get to the end of the day, tomorrow is another day.
This is what I made for myself today.  It is Xena and She-Ra - these are both nicknames my family has called me through the years.  My little bit of journaling on it says "With nicknames like these you can conquer the world if you choose to".  I love that my family sees me as this warrior.  I just have to find her in me again is all.  I know she is there somewhere.
Anyway I just wanted to share this little tidbit about me,
Until next time,
Peace and luv to all

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