Sunday, March 4, 2012

My Heritage–My Dad

So, writing a heritage thing on my dad is so different from writing one for my mom.  I lived with my mom in Seattle my whole life while my dad went back to Baltimore when they split up when I was two and my brother was just born.  We got an occasional phone call or card from him but he was not really part of our lives.  We went to visit my paternal grandfather when I was 10 and my dad, his wife and stepson came for a few days.  that really felt like the first time I met him.  and his wife made it clear that she didn’t want to be there so it was not the best situation.  my brother got sent to live with our dad when he was 13ish and he lived out there for a couple years.  I went and spent the summer when I was 16.  it seemed like the better of two bad choices I had in my life at that point. either way I was living with a step parent who resented my existence.  when my dad finally left wife number 2 for wife number 3 I gave him another chance – I took my then 2 year old son cross country and got to know my dad and new step mom to be for three months.  it game me a lot more insight into who my father was and why in some cases.  my dad tried to live out here in the Seattle area for a while after wife number 3 passed away, but he was looking for my mother and I to step in and basically take care of him and well it just was not gonna happen.  so he went back to Maryland and married wife number 4 which only lasted 6 months before he split up with her and moved to Louisville where he had grown up.  also his whole family still lived in the area.  I know he was happy there, because we talked at least once a week.  he was in no rush to marry again which I totally agreed with.  he was going to church.  he had a scooter that he rode all over and loved that freedom.  that scooter – OI!!  my father was legally blind but with his glasses he saw well enough in the state of Kentucky to ride that God forsaken scooter.  When I found out he died in a traffic accident I was sure it was because of that scooter.  imagine my surprise when it turned out he was a pedestrian who got hit by a car.  either way, it was a shock to my system and I went to Kentucky and finally met his whole side of the family – I fell in love with Kentucky and my family and cannot wait until I can go back.  I sometimes wish I would have taken the time and gotten out there for my dad to see me fall in love with it all, but I know that when I went it fulfilled his final wishes. 

again, this is being preposted because I am spending a weekend watching roller derby

hope everyone is having a great weekend,

peace and luv to all


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